Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
