i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
