I CAN MOONWALK!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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