I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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