Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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