You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm like, not good at living.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
