Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Randomize
