So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
