I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
