I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
