just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
