Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
