every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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