I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
