I'm gonna have a badass scar
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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