I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
