it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize