was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
