I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
