Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
