All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
