Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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