Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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