***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
