This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
and she was petting her beer can
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
