there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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