can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
