If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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