Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
