he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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