Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Is Oprah even human
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
