guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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