Pappa wants mamma naked
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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