It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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