Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
