when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Acid is not a monday night drug
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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