dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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