I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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