...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
