Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
