If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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