you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
