Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
