I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I party with great urgency now.
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