Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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