Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
