tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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