You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
