Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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