i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
