I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
