I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
